THE TOKEN "MAGNA CARTA HOLY GRAIL" REVIEW BECAUSE I'M A WHITE PERSON WHO LIKES RAP

       So to start off, this has been a pretty big month for rap music by the numbers. Wale, J Cole, and Kanye moved some units. Problem is, I don't listen to J Cole because the only thing he raps about is graphic details of sexual encounters that just make me uncomfortable because I have sex with the lights off in complete silence, and Wale thinks he's Socrates. He's the only rapper I've ever heard that spends 2 minutes on every track before his beat kicks in to make a Dr. Seuss rhyme about monogamy, or whatever shit he's trying to sound profound talking about. He's like a walking musical Aesop Fable. So as far as I'm concerned, both of those guys suck. I had my hopes up for "Yeezus" because Kanye's child was born that week, and that was just marketing genius, meaning his album had to be good right? WRONG. Holy shit this thing was a heap of garbage. Just incoherent blabber from a man who clearly just has his head up his own ass at this point and has nothing left to say because he's rich, arrogant, and fucking crazy as cat shit.

      Needless to say I was pretty pissed off until I started seeing these Samsung commercials for Jay's new album. Jay+Rick Rubin+ Swizz Beats+ black and white filter= cool commercial. Then I started remembering that a lot of Jay's albums kind of suck (shoutout to "Kingdom Come") and I got nervous. I couldn't handle another let down, not after fucking "Yeezus" which I've embraced as the biggest musical disappointment of my life (because it sucked THAT badly). I was having panic attacks, guy. "WHAT IF TIMBALAND'S BEATS SOUND EXACTLY LIKE THOSE NELLY FURTADO BEATS?"......."WHAT IF JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE TRIES TO RAP ON HIS FEATURE?"......."WHAT IF NOTHING HAPPENS AFTER YOU DIE?" (That one has nothing to do with the album. My therapist and I are working it out, we'll get there). 

      I heard the album for the first time on Saturday night in my friend's car (shoutout to Ryan Cisek) because he has a Samsung S whatever it is, and I loved it. Unfortunately, I was drunk as hell, and when I'm drunk as hell I also love fat bitches, Hawaiian shirts, and sandwiches deep fried in sandwiches.  Clearly I had to give it another, un-beer-biased listen, and I did.

     THE VERDICT--------Better than fucking "Yeezus".

    No shit this thing was going to be better than "Yeezus", I just can't get over how pissed off I still am at Kanye for thinking this thing was good and releasing it to the public.

   In all honesty, I do really like "Magna Carta Holy Grail". I'd put it in the top 3 and I'm going to get fucking reamed out for my opinion for this, but hear me out.  "Reasonable Doubt" is obviously his best, and I think, "The Black Album" is number 2. Yes. I think "The Black Album" is better than "Blueprint". "Blue Print" is still bad ass but "The Black Album" is just splattered with Just Blaze and Kanye in their hay day and that goes a long way for me. This album is his best in the last 10 years, hands down. The reason why I think it's so good is that Jay is acting his age. He's not rapping about moving weight anymore, or guns, or (insert rap stereotype here). The argument is that that content makes lyrics more interesting, but if you're not really doing it, isn't it worse to pretend? Wouldn't we be more mad if Jay was rhyming about how he's still out in streets when we fucking know he's a business man with an office and a daughter now? That shit would be ridiculous. He's 43. He's an adult, he shouldn't be making dance tracks anymore, he shouldn't be rapping about dew rags anymore. He's a rich middle aged dude, and that's what he's giving you. I'm a fan of honesty, and that's exactly what I got from the album.

  The good thing about being Jay-Z is that your boys bring their A-game when you're putting an album together. Pharrell, Timbaland, Swizz Beats throw some wild beats on this thing. People are talking reckless about "BBC" and they say it's a weak beat but I think that's bullshit. I also think Nas bodies the track and it makes me happy seeing him on anyone's albums because I still believe he's the best rapper alive. My favorite thing about Jay-Z though, is his sheer power and influence. He reminds the whole world that he's above the current trends, condemning them, kind of. He goes after Miley Cyrus (aka Nazi haircut) and her stupid obsession with twerking, and the use of molly in "Tom Ford", because once again, he's 43. If he was taking club drugs that'd be pretty fucking pathetic, and I know that I started this thought with his power and influence, so I'll tie it back in right now, but I need a new paragraph, guy.

  He's the top of the food chain, and sets the trends instead of trying to fall in line with the rap cliches. Nothing about turning up, nothing about molly, or lean, or racks....unless he's making fun of it. I honestly think you're going to see some hip hop trends die out a little bit because Jay makes them sound silly on the album. Don't believe me? Remember when T-Pain had "beef" with Jay because of the autotune craze that was happening in hip hop at the time? Well it happened. Then Jay released "DOA" (Death of Autotune) in 2009 when "Blue Print 3" came out, and I haven't heard a peep from T-Pain since then. He ended a man's CAREER with one song. I mean I'm sure T-Pain is still playing colleges and shit like that, but shawty isn't snappin' the way he used to be.

Anyway, I'm buying this thing when I get paid Monday, and it's worth the listen for sure, so check it out. Let me know what you think, hit me up on Twitter and Instagram- @mikecoscarelli, and like the Facebook page. The podcast hiatus is over, and I got new episodes coming for you guys next week, and HIT THAT FOLLOW BUTTON.

PEACE OUT